I saw a young couple walking by my office, and the guy reached back and slapped the crap out of the girl. I went back inside, got my varmint rifle, propped the door open just enough to get his skull in my crosshairs…. and then remembered that humans shouldn’t interfere with nature, so I let him keep slapping the shit out of her.

How do you get duck sauce out of the duck? This duck is getting very upset.

I saw two cute little chihuahuas running down the sidewalk. I rolled up to them on my bike, considering snatching them up before something bad happened to them. As I got closer, one of them saw me and ran into the street and almost got hit by a car by like one inch. So I was reminded of the concept of humans not interrupting nature, and I let them continue their little adventure.