Dear God,

Please do me this one big favor. Well, it’s not just for me, it’s for the whole world.  If you do this one thing, I’ll never ask another favor, neither will the rest of the world.  Please, oh please, destroy every religion on the planet. 
   Okay, okay, I know that sounds like a big request, and it is, to be sure.  But, c’mon man, this fucking sucks, dude.  Seriously, life on this planet totally sucks because of religion.  You know it, man!  C’mon, what the hell.  Dude.  Bro.  Bitch, whatever.  
  Now, I know that you like to be hailed or whatever.  You want everyone to worship you and talk about you all the time, yada yada, get a facebook page, shit.  I’m serious,man. Go make some other planet with stupid things to worship you.  
  Destroy every religion on the planet, God. Do it. You know it’s the right thing to do.  All I’m asking you to do is make one little sacrifice for the happiness of mankind.  Destroy all the religions.  Trade your vanity for peace on Earth. You know you want to. It’s cool if you don’t.  I mean, I totally would if I was an all powerful deity, but that’s me.  I’m all like, against global human suffering and stuff like that, but it’s cool.  
  Oh fucking God Damnit!  Here comes that God Damn mother fucking irritating as FUCK customer again.  Oh, thanks for him, by the way.  Alright, gotta go, check you later.